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Word grilling

27 September 2009

‘Word’ when s-prefixed becomes ‘sword’. And ‘s’ stands for ‘severe’. No wonder, my daughter dreaded the so-called ‘conselling’ by her school-counsellors in India. She said it was not ‘counselling’; rather, it was ‘grilling’. I would use Jug Suraiya’s statement, “‘Word’ is a four-letter word” to apply to such grilling sessions. And, she preferred corporal punishment to such word grilling. I bet she is one of the very many who would hold such preferences.

Does their preference warrant a reversion in our schools to the gospel of the cane – Spare the rod and spoil the child? Perhaps vehemently ‘Yes.’ Not that the cane, or for that matter R. K Narayan’s glorified birch v. i. z. the foot-rule, is pedagogically virtuous but that it is a lesser evil than grilling.

When grilling cuts deep the mind and soul, the cane at worst cuts deep only the skin and muscles. A modicum of common sense tells us that touching others’ person without their consent is an offence, a social taboo, whatsoever the reason. It’s brute forcing, not human courtesy. Are teachers, the custodians and inculcators of courtesy and manners, exempted from that basic courtesy?

On the other side of the coin, I see the etching of a story of one Ganashyam Giri. Gane (my pet name for him) in Class VIII in a central Bhutan Middle Secondary School is a devoted truant. Much of the teachers’ efforts to lure him to the lessons fail.

The concerned class teacher asks Gane’s brother (an old friend of the teacher’s) to persuade the little boy to continue his studies. The senior brother shrugs his shoulders and says he is helpless, having counselled the boy for a week.

One day, the teacher is served a cup of tea by Gane in a popular hotel of the town. The teacher could not believe his eyes. Upon the mildest enquiry, Gane informs his teacher that he is very happy as a ‘supplier’ in the hotel. “The school…….,” Gane left his statement incomplete in a fall-rise tone.

A couple of sips later, the teacher tells him, “It’s okay, Gane. It’s good that you are doing what you like. However, don’t you think that if you continue your schooling, you might get a better job?” “No Sir. Somehow, I like this job. I am determined to continue here.”

“Well!” the teacher said, “Gane, it’s so important and good that you like the work. But you should take the TC from the school. You know, the TC will be useful in your future. You are so young and you could look for other jobs too. So, please come to the school for that; I’ll help you. Okay?” “Okay, Sir; I shall come.”

In the school the following day, the teacher welcomes Gane with a lot of warmth and tenderness. He says, “Gane, see how happy the students are; they are running around and playing. Don’t you now feel that you like the school?”

“Sorry, Sir… Please give me the TC.” “Gane, your TC has been prepared and you can take it. But before that, why don’t you go to your class, meet your friends to say bye bye to them?” “Yes, Sir; I’ll do it.”

Soon, both of them are in the classroom. The teacher tells the class, “Dear boys and girls, your friend, Gane is leaving the school. Let’s wish him all the best. But don’t you want him to be with you? Won’t you be missing him?”

“Yes Sir, we’ll be missing him,” came the thunderous chorus. “We want him…we want our Gane with us, Sir.”

Turning to Gane, still downcast, the Sir said, “See, Gane – how much your friends love you; how much we teachers love you!! Now, tell me: you still want to take your TC? Why don’t you please stay with us?” “Very sorry, Sir. I must go. Please help me get the TC.”

The teacher went and bolted the door from inside. He then stormed back and hit Gane, asking, “You still want to go? Giving a damn to our care and request…?” Gane, hard evading the blows, is heard screaming, “Sir, I’ll not go… I’ll stay back and study Sir, please…”

Gane, thus battered (or bettered?) black and blue, resumes his schooling. (The last we hear: Gane tops the Class X and XII results!!!) Later in the staffroom, Gane’s teacher formulates with a smirk what has later become a quotable quote, “Where western counselling fails, eastern counselling works.”

Pat comes a pat on the sage, “No student will ever dare before you.” Another supplements, “Primitive behavior needs primitive punishment.” A third quips, “Physical punishment is a necessary preamble to the child’s constitution.”

My daughter and her co-sufferers must have meant that such quick shock treatments as Gune got are far better than the slow, protracted verbal tortures of ‘advising.’ Exactly here’s the rub. Most often ‘advising’ replaces ‘counselling’ and curative measures are meted out than preventive means taken.

Some pertinent questions are: Did Gune really benefit from the ‘eastern counselling’? Indeed, he topped the academic results – a commendable metamorphosis from a hotel boy to an academic top-scorer. Or, was he just a scoring machine? What befell his personality? Is Gune today, like life’s many top-scorers, a timid liver?

The timidity in living is the sour aftertaste of being subjected to brute force, corporal punishment for example. India’s Kamala Das writes about her husband’s carnal force and its impact: Cowering/Beneath your monstrous ego I ate the magic loaf and Became a dwarf (The Old Playhouse)

The feeling of being dwarfed is the undoing in growing-up. The tender minds of the school-goers, when subjected to brute force – whatever is the justification – feel dwarfed and timid. Such dwarfs are incapable of initiative and creativity. As in the case of Kamala Das, the redeeming approach towards an erring scholar is empathy and dialogue, non-judgemental. The Nobel Laureate, Bertrand Russell says:

If you have the sort of liking for children that many people have for horses or dogs, they will be apt to respond to your suggestions, and to accept prohibitions, perhaps with some good-humoured grumbling, but without resentment… Teachers who have this quality will seldom need to interfere with children’s freedom, but will be able to do so, when necessary, without causing psychological damage… No rules, however wise, are a substitute for affection and tact. (Education and Discipline)

Being tactful and affectionate presupposes the readiness to listen. Our availability for listening and our listening comprehension skills themselves are at sorry ebb. Naturally then, ‘counselling’ degrades to ‘advising’ and our sons and daughters dread such word grilling. Grilling is not equal to (western) counseling. If it is, eastern counseling is preferable.

By JOSE K. C
Lecturer
Samtse College of Education

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Posted by Bhutan Observer · Filed Under Voices 

Comments

One Response to “Word grilling”

  1. monu tamang on October 5th, 2009 9:38 am

    i read this article and found it very great in the way the ideas have been interpreated and the central theme was very awakening and moreover i am very great fan of you la, sir.i like every part of it and hope to see many of your article which i keep on compiling in my book.

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