Why Size Does Not Matter
16 August 2008
As Indians, you can label us as the most dishonest and the laziest race of people, but you cannot take away from us that we are also one of the most creative. After all, it takes more than ether and ideology to produce a billion off springs. While browsing through the wikitravel website (see, we are also one of the poorest, I can’t still afford a Lonely Planet), I read that Bhutan comprised of less than seven hundred thousand people, and was overcome by a simultaneous feeling of wonder and pity. So, in spite of all this talk about record cordyceps production (which someone told me is an acclaimed aphrodisiac) and all those legends circulating about the amorous adventures of the eccentric saint Lam Drukpa Kuenley, the fact of the matter is that more people probably sneeze per minute in India than what stand on the soil of the Druk Yul at the moment.
After hard thought and serious bathtub deliberations, I have come up with a radical and dynamic solution for the pressing problem of the country’s baby crunch. It is contained in three magical letters: BPO. No, I’m not talking about the workforce of Yankeeland getting Bangalored by spectacled, thick-tongued computer engineers and neither about late-night drawling in an American accent My abbreviation stands for Baby Production Outsourcing, and in this endeavour millions of our young unemployed brothers and sisters on the other side of the fence at Phuentsholing can do their dutiful bit. It’s a complete win-win proposition, aimed at promoting commerce and addressing the demand-supply gap, and I see no reason if Bangalore can become the world’s IT capital, why Siliguri or Guwahati cannot aspire to be the global baby hubs. Why, even Jaigaon can pitch in.
On a lighter note, less can also be more when it comes to advantages. I’ve been raking my head over the following calculations and have come to this conclusion: Out of Thimphu’s total population of 80,000, it is safe to assume half, i.e. 40,000 are women.
Further assuming a statistical average of 1 pretty woman out of 40 (which is much higher than the world average and my tribute to the sublime beauty of the dames of this land), there are around a thousand fairies flowing in their exquisite kiras on the streets of Thimphu at the moment. Now, if we assume that the number of women who fade away into an aged oblivion or death, is equal to the ones who attain a comely maturity, the number remains the same. So even devoting a week to each (I swear in the Indian metros there are websites which offer 5-minute speed dating where there is someone new sitting across your table even before you finish your fresh lime soda) it is numerically possible to date every pretty woman in Thimphu in 20 years, which in any case is the span of one’s youth. In which other city of the world would you come across this possibility? Of course, then there are other more banal benefits. In the Coaster from Phuentsholing to Thimphu, we started with just three passengers sharing the ride and I gloated about that spacious extravagance, for in India there are many cases of people suffering from a strange abnormality where one leg is shorter than the other, which I fancy might be a direct result of standing one-legged in the packed buses for there is not space enough to accommodate both feet on the footboard. Thankfully, here one does not have to stand in queues clutching desperately onto one’s crotch at public toilets, one does not have to sift through a hundred pages featuring the same last name to find a number in the telephone directory and children are not reduced merely to their roll numbers in the classrooms.
It’s for the policymakers to decide which of the two courses would contribute to the nation’s greater GNH. If you ask me then frankly, I have no children, but given a choice I like being small.
Arjun Razdan
Freelance Photographer/ Writer
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Loading ...Zakar for Friday July 30 2010
20th Day of the 06th Month - Iron Male Tiger Year
Auspicious for: Carrying out daily chores and making offerings.
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Small size population is Bhutan’s strength. It is beacuse of this that the fight for survival is easiest in Bhutan compared to India or any other SAARC countries. Currently , Bhutan has the highest per capita in SAARC partly because of its small population. We need no Indians to increase our population and worst Indians with our fairies.
I don’t get the point of your article, if there is any.
True, India is a more than a billion strong progressive country but we never exhibited ‘our smallness’ as a problem. Like any other country, you find dishonest man in India as well as in Bhutan and I see no issue there.
Your idea of Jaigaon/Siliguri being a BPO (your sense) is offensive and I am still trying to understand what you mean by that. I hope your intentions are nothing sinister. You also show disregard for our culture and traditions (your comment about Lama Drukpa Kuenley and the cordyceps).
There is no creativity in what you wrote and I hope you have the ability to understand if I suggest you to be a litle sensitive to what you pen down.
If you have any comments, please do mail me at bhutanese.blogger@googlemail.com
Bhutanese land is full of mountains, keeping very less space for population growth. Our babes are indeed stunningly beautiful,so thanks for the compliment. But if we are to preserve this beautiful breed, no Bhutanese lady should sleep with Indians because most of them are ugly. Tthey will beget ugly offsprings
However, Indians must realize that our beautiful Bhutanese babes come from nowhere but are simply begotten by the Bhutanese males. So,I suggest the other way round. Indians are brainy although ugly. You also have stunning babes like Ashwaria Rai and so on.
So, why not practice birth control for the ugly Indians, hire out Bhutanese men for the most beautiful babes of your country and produce a hybrid of beautiful Indian babes of your own. That hybrid would be both intelligent and beautiful. Hitler’s idea for a superiou race could be produced that way.
If you think we are too few for that sort of a project, I assure you that one Bhutanese man can geget thousands through artificial insimination.
The JAGA has proved beyond reasonable doubt how sickening his thought can be. Thats why people like him spent hundreds of years licking British arse.
You sound sex-starved, unattractive……. and grossly sick.
India is a beautiful place to visit but the people like you make things otherwise. Your gloating about your population size…then you should have achieved what China has achieved….pathetic NDTV news achors trying to down play giant olympic leap made by china!
India is a modern hell. It will take billion years to catch up with china. Bet on that..Sick Old politicians rule that country.
You sick moron!
Tenzin. Don’t hurt the sentiments of His Excellency Manmohan Sing ji when you write of the Indian politicians. Otherwise he will refuse to release the Rs.20 billion help he pledged for Bhutan. Other Indian politicians may be bad but Shree Manmohan ji is an excellent leader. Only our Prime Minister His Excellency Lyonchen Jigme Yoezer Thinley of Bhutan can match his stature. Our beloved monarchs are matchless jewels in this planet and therefore should not even be compared with President Bush.
Nalenjan,
Huh! it is truly give and take ya. And of all Man mohan will never read this becuase this is the world of that fake click III photographer and pseudo writer…i have never seen serious writer write those kind of junk.
He must one of those roadside-peeing-no-work-crotch-clutching-dogs!
this jagas r really sick ppl trying to say its win win situation for we bhutanese listen u writer we dont need ur genes to increase our race u better be in ur domain and in future dont write this kinda article or ur ball will fall in the ground
People are equal nor nothical fact,is a unnecessary condition of our human races is create by the God, No human things he maded are nor perfect,Size,shape,color anything body else.