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If you love my curves I’ve many

22 August 2008

I’ve just about had it with the roads. I’m exasperated! Come on people, let’s all be civil. This is not Bangkok nor is it the streets of New York. This is our capital and we all run into each other sooner or later. So stop honking me when all you are going to do today is go home and watch the Olympics. So why the big hurry?

I’ve had a premonition. No, it isn’t pretty. I’m going to die in a maze- no, not in a corn field but in one of Thimphu’s many junctions, cross roads, unexpected U-turns and/or the expressway.

Thus this obituary of blame, should this prophesy hit a fatal bumper. I do not have a death wish, I did once. It was a long time ago and it had nothing to do with roads. Now it does and I do not want to die, at least not on the road.

I live next to the express way. It’s a nice spot. Doing the rounds trying to get there is the challenge. Let me illustrate how. The lamps on the express way have yet to be lit up or switched on. So when you drive at nights, the vehicles coming in the opposing direction blind you. To solve that, drivers dim their headlights. Problem with that is you can’t see far, and before you know it, there are mad-cap pedestrians testing your motor skills while you try dodging these midnight-stalkers. A jogger landed up in a hospital trying to stay healthy on that stretch. The hit and run cases are piling. Ask the devotees who circumambulate the long-bodied chhorten next to the expressway. They are really praying to the lord. You can see it in their faces.

I know. I’m one of the scares.

Below the bridge, during that morning rush, you forget the meaning of the word “to navigate’ and everything is left to instinctual survival ‘manoeuvres’. And that’s precisely what you must do! There are vehicles making U-turns, taxis dropping-off fares and impromtu pick-ups. You make it and live to drive another day, or so you think. Then you ta ke the road toward the Memorial Chhorten. Vehicles bombard you from all directions. There is nothing or nobody to direct traffic. Buddha must get a load of chuckles here. Play chicken is the game. Perhaps the proximity of JDWNRH is a balm.
Is that why this spot is left as it is?

Chubachu is another hot spot. The traffic police pull you over. You wonder why. He tells you to go around a ring. You ask, “What ring?” And he says, “the ring up there, you moron.” You drive to where he has his finger pointed, “My god, there is a ring and I’m a moron!” Only hitch is you have got to drive all the way up and pulling a stupid face over to the incoming drivers, do an abrupt “about-turn!” You didn’t seriously believe I was going that way now, did you? That’s the only scrap of dignity you can squeeze out of this bend.

There are talks about the government increasing vehicle tariffs. Boy! That sure is going to piss off people who want to get on the roads and join the existing bandwagon.

Me? I’ve decided the next transportation I’m going to get is a mule, if that. The odds are two mules will never collide head on.

By Jurmi Chhowing

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Posted by Bhutan Observer · Filed Under Opinion 

Comments

3 Responses to “If you love my curves I’ve many”

  1. kinley on August 24th, 2008 10:53 pm

    JUrmi-you r THE SATIRIST! Keep heading hard! But hope, you dont get hit back that hard-Newton’s third law! way to go!

  2. Sangay Drukpa on August 26th, 2008 8:20 am

    jurmi, u have hit the bulls eye. Thumbs up.

  3. dema on August 30th, 2008 1:20 pm

    good piece, tis ironically funny n so damn true…way 2 go dude…

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