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One-way ticket to hell and back

12 December 2008

A life littered with family crises ignited a hellish journey of experimental tryst to juvenile misdemeanours to full-blown crimes. The hard-fought war against drug addiction was only won in the end. Pushkar Chhetri reports.

Tshering, 26, started experimenting with drugs at the age of 14. He first started sniffing patrol for a while. “It had an addictive smell and after sniffing it makes one unaware of what is happening around and I would forget all my worries,” he said.

But this experimentation soon manifested into addiction with Tshering abusing other substances such as Dendrite (shoe glue) and Marijuana with alcohol by the eleventh grade. “I was hooked to dendrite for a whole year,” he said adding that till then, he had never tried pharmaceuticals.

Tshering’s parents got divorced when he was five and his younger sister one year old. “The court decided that I had to stay with my father and my sister with my mother,” he said. Tshering could not attend his regular classes as he had to go to the court with his parents.

Because of the divorce, Tshering had no parental guidance. “Though I was staying with my dad, I had no moral guidance as he would be on tour most of the time,” he said.

Tshering said that he would do drugs without any limitations and would remain aloof in his room on reaching home. “I used to walk straight to my room and bolt it from inside and pretend I was busy with my homework,” he said. Gradually, in order to meet his financial needs to buy drugs, Tshering started pinching resources from his house and later even from shops in town. “When I ran out of cash, I would steal wallets of my parents and grandparents,” he said.

In 2003, Tshering decided to pursue a degree in law from Pune where he started using heroine and tablets. The first semester, he said was fine but by the next semester, he saw himself getting deeper into drugs.

Tshering said that he would smoke heroine once a day which was available cheap. “One foil would cost 50 Rupees and it was enough for two,” he said. In March 2004, under the influence of drugs, Tshering had an accident and fractured his leg and had to discontinue his studies.

Within a month, Tshering would blow up Nu 70,000 to 80,000 and when he ran out of money, he would start emotion- ally blackmailing his par- ents. “I would cry over the phone when talking to my parents to gain some sympathy,” he said. After the accident, Tshering returned back home and healed within three months.

But he wanted to go back to Pune. “I told my parents that I wanted to continue my studies but my main intention to go back was to get some money and start using heroine again,” he said. Tshering decided to come back home again but only to get more money from his parents.

“I came back home and got Nu one lakh and 400 dollars (which was meant for my medical insurance) and headed back to Pune again,” he said adding that the money he got couldn’t even last him for a month.

He remembered how, after spending all the money he would steal valuables. “I used to steal mobile phones and other valuables of my flatmates and they knew that I was an addict because of which they started isolating me,” he said.

Tshering said how he was an introvert and did drugs to overcome this obstacle. “I didn’t realize I was getting physically and mentally dependant on drugs and initially, I wasn’t aggressive but later, I was sick of my using habits and was obsessed with it at the same time. He remembered how he would get aggressive and punt stuffs in the house and become hostile and at times just be silent and deny everything.

Tshering’s parents soon came to know of his addiction and called him back home. In March 2006, Tshering’s parents then got him employed at Bhutan Agro Industries as an assistant Lab Technician. “I was working there but I didn’t like the job and started bunking work. After being employed for nine months, Tshering was terminated from work for his irregularities. Tshering was living together with his girlfriend whom he met in 2003.

She is now his home maker but Tshering still remembers how his addiction led his girlfriend to be an alcoholic. “She was not aware that I was an addict. She felt betrayed and she started drinking,” he said.

Tshering ended up doing drugs for eight years and though he had strong desires to quit, his attempts to stay clean mostly turned out futile. “For all those years, I realized what I was doing was wrong but stopping wasn’t the problem, it was staying stopped that was,” he said.

Tshering would be clean for three months and relapse into the habit again. “I talked to the elders in the family and stopped doing drugs for some time but I would start again,” he said. He also switched to alcohol to get rid of drugs but it was just another feather on his cap. “I started beating up my wife and would not listen to anyone.”

Tshering even tried disconnecting his phone lines and remain isolated in his room but it would not help until the day he was arrested while buying correction fluid from one of the shops in Thimphu. “I was buying correction fluid from one of the shops near the traffic and the shopkeeper somehoknew that I was going to misuse it and she called the police,” he remembered. Following the incident, Tshering was detained for two days. “My mom knew the Superintendant of Police and he suggested that I get admitted in REWA,” he said.

He was then admitted in REWA on June 1 2007. “My step mom paid all my treatment expenses and I would not have been what I am today had she not helped me out,” he said.

“I was not getting why I was there and I ran away from there the following day and I lied to my mom that even the peer councillors there were addicts too,” he said chuckling. His mother, believing what he said immediately revoked the five-month agreement.

But no sooner was Tshering was out of REWA, he was arrested for the second time on charges of attempted murder. Tshering had left some of his belongings at REWA and he went to REWA with a dagger to charge the staff at REWA. “The police wanted me arrested for six months, but my step mom talked to the police and decided to refer me to Samaritans, a rehabilitation centre in Calcutta.”

But somehow his transportation to Calcutta was delayed because of which the police had him stay at REWA for three days before he left for Calcutta.

Tshering started attending classes at REWA. “In an eye opening session, I learnt how drug addiction was just the tip of the iceberg and that the main problem lay within us,” he said.

He did not want to go away from home to Calcutta and more so, he was inspired by a friend, who was a drug addict but had drastically improved after being admitted at REWA. In the mean time Tshering asked his step mother to send his wife to a rehab in cell in Sikkim.

After five months of treatment, both Tshering and his wife came back home to start life afresh and started living together. Two months prior to Tshering’s discharge, the Drop-in Centre was opened and Tshering would then regularly visit the centre. “After discharge, recovering addicts need to visit the DIC regularly to ensure that they don’t fall back again and it has helped me a great deal in staying out of drugs,” he said.

They were both offered jobs as outreach workers in the field of HIV/AIDS and addiction. “We had to set targets and share our own experiences to educate them,” he said.

Tshering is now an employee with the Bhutan Narcotic Control Board and his wife works at the Drop-In Centre. “Our fellowship at the DIC is our strength and they inspire us to work better,” said Tshering. He has never looked back since then and now says, “For those who are into drugs, come to Drop-In Centre. It does not take you to heaven but it certainly gets you out of hell.”

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Comments

One Response to “One-way ticket to hell and back”

  1. Dorji on December 12th, 2008 4:11 pm

    God save me and other people from this hellish experiences.

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